Woke up from a night full of nightmares. Another anxiety attack? Feeling lost. Confused. Dry mouth. Shivers up and down my spine. A kiss. Skin sensitive. Those eyes. Bathed in sweat. Turned the fan off because the breeze hurt against my skin. Senses heightened. Shadows looming about me. His eyes! A million thoughts flooding my head at all once. Scattered. Whitman’s prophetic words blaring in my ear. Feeling lonelier than I ever had. Finding no comfort in my pillows; no safety under my blankets. Was it a kiss that woke me? Unable to fall asleep again. Restless. Inquieto. Trying to put words to what I’m feeling and failing miserably. He was a beautiful man. Shooting blanks without any sexual connotations. Feeling like I’m six, or seven, or eight again. He wanted me! Can’t make sense out of any of this. Writing, writing, writing, praying for clarity. Me! Watching the minutes on the clock slip by. Trying to fall asleep again and realizing the futility of my situation. The kiss broke the spell, and I woke. Breathing deeply but remaining off-center. Reading the cards in order to get answers, but finding things I’d rather not know about. Will I dream him again? Wishing I was home. Realizing I’m glad not to be there. Grateful to find myself in my bedroom. How to find him again? Reaching for my dog by my bedside. Come back! Glad it’s still night so that I might gather my wits about me before another day. Still confused, but not daunted. Find me!