SCENE: VICTOR and WALTER stand in a corner admiring the crowd. WALTER holds a beer he’s been nursing for two hours. VICTOR winces every time he sips from a glass of red wine. They both look confused and perplexed.
Okay, then. Explain this to me. If he’s a bear. And that one’s an otter. The one over there you say pretends he’s a puppy. And the beautiful man over there is a wolf. Then what the hell are you? And what the fuck am I?
I’m a platypus.
A platypus? Why the fuck would you choose a platypus?
Because I’m a otter who didn’t give a fuck, screwed a duck and a beaver, got the best parts of each, and I don’t care what others think about the way I look.
Fair enough. So that make me a what, then?
You? You are Ferdinand the Bull! You look tough and burly on the outside.
But inside, you are noble and kind, and I couldn’t have a better friend.
VICTOR’S lip quivers for a moment. They hug and hold each other for a moment. A young otter walks over to where they stand.
Hey, guys. You’re so cute together. You make such a nice couple.
Are you looking to hook, or are you up for a threesome?
WALTER (releasing VICTOR)
You can have this one. I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll wait for you outside.
Be nice to him. He doesn’t know about Ferdinand’s dark side.
WALTER moves away, as VICTOR’s tirade begins.
FADE TO BLACK